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Thread: Untitled. PLEASE READ

  1. #1

    Default Untitled. PLEASE READ

    this still needs work, some of it doesnt quit fit i got it as tight and consistent as i could but im still not happy with some of it. Let Me know what you think!

    they say its fight music when i write like this
    cus i cuss when i spit to these hip hop kids
    i say fuck em, freedom of speech ill abuse it
    ima use it till u lose it it'll help me get through this
    this rap game aint about fame u make your name
    with the words that you spit, if your good you get the blame
    when six thug kids jump some little white prick
    cos they jumped up, pumped on the liquor that they drunk
    smashin punks, beatin chumps takin violence to the guns
    this aint right blud, y cant u just draw blood
    with your fist instead of resortin to the slugs
    it bugs, how the faggots can call them selves thugs
    tupac was a thug, next to him ur just a mug
    livin snug, dont touch drugs, never worked to earn your bucks
    i was a kid listening to biggie pac and shady
    and its crazy how much rap has been changed lately
    from all the real shit like growin up on the streets
    to wanabe gangsters spittin shit over a beat
    dont get me wrong i cant deny they got skill
    but all they want from the game is another dollar bill
    to see theyre bank account fill, i am here to make a kill
    let the ill flow spill just speakin what is real
    thats what its bout yo, all u fake rappers are a no no
    speakin shit bout cars an ho's, rhymin like a yo yo
    back and forth up and down, rappin like the insane clowns
    your a pisstake, from birth u were a mistake
    your mum forgot to take her pill your daddy like to risktake
    so he stuck it in, look what cam out, a baby dumb as shit
    who grows up to be a wannabe believin he can spit
    growin up rich as fuck, drivin in a hummer truck
    when real emcee's are busting guts, waitin for the day they blow up
    like dr dre with N.W.A, for every emcee theyre will come a day
    the time will arise when u open your eyes, take the world by suprise as u release your lines
    spit venmous bars to the world to stars even relate to the green men on mars
    cos hip hop is real shit broken right down
    if u listen real closely a message is found
    it goes out to the people hating their life
    hip hop is your saviour it will help you fight
    the beat keeps you mellow the words keep you strong
    ill be happy to change one mans life with this song
    if only one person can open theyre eyes and see through the disguise which this world hides behind
    to cover the truth of the heart ache and pain infectin this world spreading like the plague

  2. #2
    Banned B L II N K Z's Avatar
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    Default Re: Untitled. PLEASE READ

    really like it very catchy du ya spit or just write??

  3. #3

    Default Re: Untitled. PLEASE READ

    Quote Originally Posted by B L II N K Z View Post
    really like it very catchy du ya spit or just write??
    spit to. i gotta get some decent recording equipment and ill be posting audio so keep an eye out for it. Cheers for the feedback homie!!

  4. #4
    Banned B L II N K Z's Avatar
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Untitled. PLEASE READ

    coo mite join up sumtime!

  5. #5
    Senior Member MicMonster's Avatar
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    11 Sep 2008
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    Texas
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    Default Re: Untitled. PLEASE READ

    um...overall, bad. the actual rhymes weren't very good in this one. It seemed forced. Needs to be tightened more. Revise this cause you can do better than this.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Keen Mind's Avatar
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    Default Re: Untitled. PLEASE READ

    agreed, it seemed like you were just trying to make another post, take yer time when u write.

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