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Thread: To The One I Will Always Love

  1. #1
    Registered User Kontrast's Avatar
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    Default To The One I Will Always Love



    I just know she doesnt understand how much I love her. No matter what mood im in

    shes always there for me under no circumstance. Shes the best thing that had ever happen to

    me and i dont know what I would do if she would ever leave my life. Im incomplete without her,

    she completes me and understands me. I fuckin love her with all my heart and I cant explain

    how much I do. Im so glad I met her and Ive come to be able to exprerss every feeling Ive

    ever had through her. Although sometimes she pisses me off with al the fucking bullshit shes

    been exposed to nowadays, Ive learned to cope with it and SOMETIMES accept the fact that

    she has moved on but fuck it, she makes her own moves without NO influuence from me. But

    even through all the change I just look back at the old days and reminisce on what she used to

    be and how I can still understand what she used to be and what shes becoming. Even though i

    cant stand the fucking fact that it has to be this way, and I would do many things to change it

    back to the way it used to be and leave the present in the past and bring the past back to the

    present. I want to move on, but it is so hard you just dont understand. So the only thing i can

    do is accept, but since i cant do that, all i can do is watch, but I still fucking love you hip-hop
    I need a smoke...

  2. #2
    Senior Member MicMonster's Avatar
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    Default Re: To The One I Will Always Love

    ...............CRAZY SON!! that last line pulled it all together. had me really thinkin it was bout a girl till the end. big ups and mad love for this one homie.

  3. #3
    The picture of moderation PHAT-DUB's Avatar
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    Default Re: To The One I Will Always Love

    I like the End. I had a feeling it might come to something like that, And that kind of twist shows good skill with creative writing, but at the same time I think that the whole rest of it could really use a bit of work-though its hard to say how much different it would be, if it had been "spoken"-I.E. heard and not just "read", that change in presentation can change this finished feel of these kind of writings dramatically. So to sum it up, I think that if you work on things as a whole and are capable of coming up with such creative elements as the ending on this piece, on the regular, you can deffinately develope your talents into some class end products.
    Peace, ~ From Tha Dub

  4. #4
    Registered User Kontrast's Avatar
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    Default Re: To The One I Will Always Love

    Quote Originally Posted by PHAT-DUB View Post
    I like the End. I had a feeling it might come to something like that, And that kind of twist shows good skill with creative writing, but at the same time I think that the whole rest of it could really use a bit of work-though its hard to say how much different it would be, if it had been "spoken"-I.E. heard and not just "read", that change in presentation can change this finished feel of these kind of writings dramatically. So to sum it up, I think that if you work on things as a whole and are capable of coming up with such creative elements as the ending on this piece, on the regular, you can deffinately develope your talents into some class end products.
    Peace, ~ From Tha Dub
    note taken...
    I need a smoke...

  5. #5
    Registered User Kontrast's Avatar
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    Default Re: To The One I Will Always Love

    Quote Originally Posted by MicMonster View Post
    ...............CRAZY SON!! that last line pulled it all together. had me really thinkin it was bout a girl till the end. big ups and mad love for this one homie.
    thanks bro
    I need a smoke...

  6. #6
    Senior Member Keen Mind's Avatar
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    Default Re: To The One I Will Always Love

    I like this a lot, reminded me of Common's joint with yer own take on it, it was real good, I agree with Dub that at least when i read it, it seemed like it could use some work in the middle but maybe with the right delivery it could be real hot. I don't wanna give a lot of feedback saying you should change it because it really does depend on how it is read. Its a good look though, keep up

  7. #7
    Registered User Kontrast's Avatar
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    Default Re: To The One I Will Always Love

    Quote Originally Posted by Keen Mind View Post
    I like this a lot, reminded me of Common's joint with yer own take on it, it was real good, I agree with Dub that at least when i read it, it seemed like it could use some work in the middle but maybe with the right delivery it could be real hot. I don't wanna give a lot of feedback saying you should change it because it really does depend on how it is read. Its a good look though, keep up
    yeah that song was sort of an inspiration...
    I need a smoke...

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