Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Silent Voice (SECOND VERSE ADDED)

  1. #1
    Livin the Atheist life Cesare Borgia's Avatar
    Join Date
    29 Nov 2004
    Location
    Westcoast USA
    Age
    33
    Posts
    5,930

    Default Silent Voice (SECOND VERSE ADDED)

    Can i get some feedback on the 2nd verse? i just wrote it up a min ago and would like to know if it's a throw away verse or not.


    Can you picture, planting seeds in the hopes they breathe
    Deceived by a world they never got a chance to see
    Conceived by mistake, so unforeseen what we create
    In a dream like state without a gleam of hope for fate
    Waiting to grow, another rose that's choose not to bloom
    So it's doomed to never know what lies beyond the womb
    Consumed by circumstances and never had a chance
    Couldn't finance this new life so the halt it's advance
    I understand it's for the best, no fault to confess
    So rest your head and release the pressure in your chest
    Couldn't blame her but couldn't answer if I'd do the same
    No train of thought, still so unsure of what would have came
    Never got a name and never got a resting spot
    Only got a drop of a live that had to stop
    The talk of a silent voice who didn't have a choice
    A sacrifice by design with not time to rejoice

    [HOOK]

    Though upon conception we had our own perceptions
    Stressing if we could give this child both of our blessings
    So many questions, would you get to grow? Am I wrong?
    But ill never get to know and so I carry on
    So much pressure on my brain about what would of came
    How could something the size of a grain cause so much pain?
    Aimed to give you more but there was no future in store
    A life of living poor, held back by to many doors
    My attempt at apology, I wished you better
    Never thought id talk to you like this, through a letter
    So here we sever with teardrops as you disappear
    And it's clear, I never thought this is where it would steer
    Endeared with love to the life that the whole world forgot
    Hoped to rise above to give you things I never got
    It's written for the silent voice, didn't have a choice
    A sacrifice by design with no time to rejoice

  2. #2

    Default Re: Silent Voice (SECOND VERSE ADDED)

    i really digs it the 2nd verse is better then the 1st one. so good job ppeace

  3. #3

    Default Re: Silent Voice (SECOND VERSE ADDED)

    real concious hip hop

  4. #4

    Default Re: Silent Voice (SECOND VERSE ADDED)

    Nice work. 2nd verse is good like.

  5. #5
    Senior Member jefpeace's Avatar
    Join Date
    17 Oct 2007
    Location
    Mount Morris, NY
    Age
    58
    Posts
    2,027

    Default Re: Silent Voice (SECOND VERSE ADDED)

    Excellent. I'm in danger of becoming a Cesare Borgia fan.

    Powerful, inciteful and visionary, draws the reader in and creates both introspection and awareness ... very hard combination to achieve with the written word and you've done it nicely with this one.

    Looking forward to reading more by you.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Silent Voice (SECOND VERSE ADDED)

    i feel u. great work.

  7. #7
    Livin the Atheist life Cesare Borgia's Avatar
    Join Date
    29 Nov 2004
    Location
    Westcoast USA
    Age
    33
    Posts
    5,930

    Default Re: Silent Voice (SECOND VERSE ADDED)

    good looking on the feedback yall, it's always appreciated.

  8. #8
    Black Wallstreet Distrbtr PDP's Avatar
    Join Date
    18 May 2006
    Location
    Westcoast Canada
    Age
    33
    Posts
    4,054

    Default Re: Silent Voice (SECOND VERSE ADDED)

    man if u aint a motherfuckin poet and king of the written word then I aint alive ya dig

    u always make me kinda stop think, read, think, read, think,,,, imagine it like a movie, then reread it and go wow

    I dont know if this is good feedback, im just sayin what your drops do


    WANT BLACKWALLSTREET GEAR OR NJD GEAR, GO TO WWW.SCHELLSHOCKENT.COM TO GO TO MY STORE, I GOT THE OFFICIAL STORE, I AM THE ONLY OFFICIAL SELLER

    IF I COULD VOTE, I WOULD VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA

  9. #9
    Livin the Atheist life Cesare Borgia's Avatar
    Join Date
    29 Nov 2004
    Location
    Westcoast USA
    Age
    33
    Posts
    5,930

    Default Re: Silent Voice (SECOND VERSE ADDED)

    ^That's great feedback, it tells me i did what i set out to do, my shit is made to make people think.

Similar Threads

  1. Of A Silent Voice
    By Cesare Borgia in forum Writer: Poems, Song Lyrics, & Stories
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 15-05-2007, 12:01 PM
  2. Does She Really Love Me? (revised, 3rd verse added)
    By Cesare Borgia in forum Writer: Poems, Song Lyrics, & Stories
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 20-01-2007, 5:30 PM
  3. mc tutorial
    By chrome in forum Artist & Band Talk
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 27-05-2006, 1:51 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
About CrazyPellas

CrazyPellas is a great music community that was founded in 2004, for Artists, DJs and Producers to Upload Music, Share Music and Get Feedback on your Music. We are constantly striving to improve CrazyPellas and ask you to contact us if you have any suggestions or if their is anything that we can help you with.

Connect With Us