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Thread: ripper

  1. #1
    LOOK THERE ===> chrome's Avatar
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    Default ripper

    well this is a txt from a friend of mine bout my school (pito)

    (intro)You asked for this one

    Fuck PITO
    Fuck PITO
    Fuck PITO
    All thugs with me get yo’ strap on
    Fuck PITO
    Fuck PITO
    Fuck PITO
    This is how a Payback goes

    Two cuts in my eyebrow sayin’ fuck school
    Got an eyebrow left that could fit a fuck you
    Police on my neck, they can get a fuck to
    I say what I want, ain’t nuthin’ you can do
    Tried to fuck me, I’d fuck back
    I should walk up on you, get yo’ bitch ass smacked
    Bop your heads with it, you gotta have it like that
    Laugh at you when I’m rolin’ with a Cadillac
    Fellas strapped, listen to the facts
    Mu’fuckers come out bad, the shit is wack
    Blaim this n----, no matter what happened
    I’m not the only one capable of criminal acts
    I’m not layin’ in first I’m way in the back
    Wanna see your impression, with you mouth full of mac
    What you thinkin’ of? Sue me for a song
    Now you got it to, the place you belong
    Is a place without this music industry
    Hear me go in flow, are you feelin’ me?
    This time you’re down, and I’ve won
    You’d better didn’t do the things that you’ve done
    Didn’t saw enough, you didn’t see nun
    Thaught I was worse and I didn’t even Start some
    Tried to take me down, but I’m takin’ you under
    Ripper is here to stay, I’m a lyrical wonder

    Fuck PITO
    Fuck PITO
    Fuck PITO
    All thugs with me get yo’ strap on
    Fuck PITO
    Fuck PITO
    Fuck PITO
    This is how a Payback goes

    I’m not an easy person, I’m a sneaky rebel
    But if you messin’ with me, you messin’ with the devil
    Ya’ll farmer folks, hit ya’ll with a shovel
    Good lookin’ gangsta is perfect for the lovin’
    If you’re not lovin’ me, you must like
    My style, ain’t no such thing as my look alike
    Way I move in the world, One big hike
    Still ain’t fallin’ for nun, gimme the mic
    School is good for me? What the fuck
    They gonna show me, how I’m gonna work?
    No it’s not, gotta want me for me and what I do
    And there ain’t no more me for you


    Fuck PITO
    Fuck PITO
    Fuck PITO
    All thugs with me get yo’ strap on
    Fuck PITO
    Fuck PITO
    Fuck PITO
    This is how a Payback goes

    (Outro)Told ya’ll Mu’fuckers
    You’d hear about me
    Here I am again
    Stay listening…

    --------------------------------------------

    so what do yall think?

  2. #2
    Black Wallstreet Distrbtr PDP's Avatar
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    Default Re: ripper

    Its aight, but someone needs to teach your boy how to write a 16 bar song, because if you recorded that it would sound like shit with a hug ass verse, a chorus then a short ass verse,,,, wheres the 16 bar, hook verse format.?


    WANT BLACKWALLSTREET GEAR OR NJD GEAR, GO TO WWW.SCHELLSHOCKENT.COM TO GO TO MY STORE, I GOT THE OFFICIAL STORE, I AM THE ONLY OFFICIAL SELLER

    IF I COULD VOTE, I WOULD VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA

  3. #3
    LOOK THERE ===> chrome's Avatar
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    Default Re: ripper

    he asks explanation, look at it like this, he never learned how to write's song , he just does, you get what i'm saying?

    btw it's not done yet...

  4. #4
    Registered User leatherface187's Avatar
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    Default Re: ripper

    yeah id finish that homie pretty good lyrics hook is weak but thats aight, id switch the hook up
    "come sit, sip from my holey water/ fresh dripped, from the veins of the innocents ive had to slaughter/ imagine the voice of a daughter, begging for the life of a father/ decided ta let him live turned and shot her"
    LEATHERFACE
    back again

  5. #5
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    Default Re: ripper

    k it's obvious i'm a noob at this, but what's a hook?

  6. #6
    Black Wallstreet Distrbtr PDP's Avatar
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    Default Re: ripper

    its the chorus of the song, its the part of the song that "hooks" people into listening to it, and replaying it, hence the term hook


    WANT BLACKWALLSTREET GEAR OR NJD GEAR, GO TO WWW.SCHELLSHOCKENT.COM TO GO TO MY STORE, I GOT THE OFFICIAL STORE, I AM THE ONLY OFFICIAL SELLER

    IF I COULD VOTE, I WOULD VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA

  7. #7
    Heroin Addict JPimpitone's Avatar
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    Default Re: ripper

    Damn, how many times does he have to say it? you guys are holdin a private conversation in here and shit.. this is a thread for FEEDBACK.. four posts by 3 people that have nothing to do with the thread... sorry to call it out but thats disrespectful.

    Chrome, this makes me think of Columbine, and all the damn school shootings that are goin on. gotta say I dont like the text very much because its makes me think your boy is gonna go to school tomarow with a shotgun.. As far as the hook goes, its hard to really get a feel for it when just reading cuz it doesnt rhyme

  8. #8
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    Default Re: ripper

    ^^finally another feedback, he's not gonna go to school with a shotgun, it's just
    he and me made a diss to somebody at school, person started crying and we got expelled, ok no big deal, buth afterawrd they kept threating him like a 4year old and he eventually changed school

    and the hook is well u have to hear it, u will prob like it then. (btw he doesn't have a shotgun :D)

  9. #9
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    Default Re: ripper

    moved all the crap that had nothing to do with feedback outta here

  10. #10
    Livin the Atheist life Cesare Borgia's Avatar
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    Default Re: ripper

    I dont know about the hook, it could be good or bad depending on how it's recorded and what fills it out in between the "Fuck PITO" parts, it's got potential though, the first verse is good and flows well, the word play is decent enough,
    Tried to fuck me, I’d fuck back
    I should walk up on you, get yo’ bitch ass smacked
    Bop your heads with it, you gotta have it like that
    Laugh at you when I’m rolin’ with a Cadillac
    Fellas strapped, listen to the facts
    Mu’fuckers come out bad, the shit is wack
    Blaim this n----, no matter what happened
    I’m not the only one capable of criminal acts
    I’m not layin’ in first I’m way in the back
    Wanna see your impression, with you mouth full of mac
    ^this part stands out the most, im loving that mouth full of mac, the second verse is to short and in my opinion should be combined with a portion of the first verse to even it out, maybe even change a thing or two in the second one as well, btw, make sure you boy knows that writing things like this about a school online is a quick way to get into some heavy shit, even if he don't outright make any threats, people are on edge these days, especially here (USA) and Canada. overall, its pretty good and the guy has alot of potential, if he keeps writing and practicing on ALL topics he could be one of the better rhyme writers ive seen in a while, ill have a tutorial on structure posted at some point, that should help him out a bit so tell him to join us if he has computer.

  11. #11

    Default Re: ripper

    "3 cuts n ur eyebrows try an wild out"

    he took Jay's concept an tried 2 rework the rhyme....


    its 2 simple as far as rhyme pattern an lacking multis, i hate when i c people make rhymes about violent type shit cuz thats the trend n music- not knockin ur boy- alotta people do it- they make rhymes emulating rhymes they hear n music- but when u write rhymes ur posed 2 write from the heart or experiences uve lived thru or witnessed.
    does ur boy drive a Caddy? an when he says 'mouth full of mac' is he talkin bout a Mac-10/11?

  12. #12
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    Default Re: ripper

    Quote Originally Posted by CESARE BORGIA View Post
    I dont know about the hook, it could be good or bad depending on how it's recorded and what fills it out in between the "Fuck PITO" parts, it's got potential though, the first verse is good and flows well, the word play is decent enough,

    this part stands out the most, im loving that mouth full of mac, the second verse is to short and in my opinion should be combined with a portion of the first verse to even it out, maybe even change a thing or two in the second one as well, btw, make sure you boy knows that writing things like this about a school online is a quick way to get into some heavy shit, even if he don't outright make any threats, people are on edge these days, especially here (USA) and Canada. overall, its pretty good and the guy has alot of potential, if he keeps writing and practicing on ALL topics he could be one of the better rhyme writers ive seen in a while, ill have a tutorial on structure posted at some point, that should help him out a bit so tell him to join us if he has computer.
    he has a computer , but when it comes to technology well ... uhm it's not really his greatest point

    yeah he almost got kicked out of school for another song, but he decided to leave so he could go back eventualy...

    Quote Originally Posted by Wit-E Beats View Post
    "3 cuts n ur eyebrows try an wild out"

    he took Jay's concept an tried 2 rework the rhyme....

    its 2 simple as far as rhyme pattern an lacking multis, i hate when i c people make rhymes about violent type shit cuz thats the trend n music- not knockin ur boy- alotta people do it- they make rhymes emulating rhymes they hear n music- but when u write rhymes ur posed 2 write from the heart or experiences uve lived thru or witnessed.
    does ur boy drive a Caddy? an when he says 'mouth full of mac' is he talkin bout a Mac-10/11?
    i don't think he ever heard that song, could be tho, u know subconcionse or somthing..
    about the cadilac, he's talking bout the future...

  13. #13
    Livin the Atheist life Cesare Borgia's Avatar
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    Default Re: ripper

    Are you sure "He" isn't YOU?

  14. #14
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    Default Re: ripper

    yeah he even has an account here (ripper) but he's just not that computer oriented (maybe wrong word)

  15. #15
    Livin the Atheist life Cesare Borgia's Avatar
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    Default Re: ripper

    oh, i gotcha.

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