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Thread: QUICKEST 16 I EVER WROTE!!!! 15 mins

  1. #1

    Default QUICKEST 16 I EVER WROTE!!!! 15 mins

    I swear on everything (what), ima get it dude
    all day fresh from my fitted to my tennis shoes
    u hear da interviews, bitches be feelin dude
    dey see da kid n get wetter than a swimming pool
    cartier frames (frames), look at my swag (swag)
    pockets on swole full of rubberband stacks (stacks)
    hittin up da mall (mall), we gone pop tags
    well who gone show us how to ball? N*gga me n duffle bag
    for wat u need u can hit me on my phone
    stackin paper’s wat im on, cuz i huslte all alone
    holdin chrome i can spit at u, n*ggas talkin typical
    its pitifull, i leave him crippled, conditions critical
    workin stayin busy, im grindin for the figure
    u worth a couple thou, ima million dollar n*gga
    im the truth, 100 proof like the liquor
    lyrics full of visuals, u listening to a picture

    and to prevent the confusion, "duffle bag" is my homeboy rap name


    NEED BEATS?!?! NEED GRAPHICS?!?! NEED LYRICS?!?!
    FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @ONLY1RICHHUSTLE

    http://www.reverbnation.com/only1richhustle
    http://www.twitter.com/only1richhustle
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    "PROFESSIONAL PERFECTIONISM"

  2. #2
    Senior Member Keen Mind's Avatar
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    Default Re: QUICKEST 16 I EVER WROTE!!!! 15 mins

    this was cool, good for being written so quickly, keep up

  3. #3
    Senior Member jefpeace's Avatar
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    Default Re: QUICKEST 16 I EVER WROTE!!!! 15 mins

    Okay, I hate to give negative criticism, but to be honest, it reads like a 15-minute effort. No substance, brah ... you're not telling a story here, just a list of random factoids.

    It does rhyme well and the cadence is there. Just needs a reason for being.

  4. #4
    Registered User ninety9one's Avatar
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    Icon14 Re: QUICKEST 16 I EVER WROTE!!!! 15 mins

    Quote Originally Posted by jefpeace View Post
    Okay, I hate to give negative criticism, but to be honest, it reads like a 15-minute effort. No substance, brah ... you're not telling a story here, just a list of random factoids.

    It does rhyme well and the cadence is there. Just needs a reason for being.
    im not sure how much rap you listen to but that good for a quick lil shot i mean if lil wayne can spit about lady refering them to potato chips and make bank i think this kids got a shot
    Last edited by ninety9one; 16-06-2009 at 10:20 AM. Reason: misspelled

  5. #5

    Default Re: QUICKEST 16 I EVER WROTE!!!! 15 mins

    it sounds good i like it

  6. #6
    Senior Member MicMonster's Avatar
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    Default Re: QUICKEST 16 I EVER WROTE!!!! 15 mins

    well i thought it was tight anyway, regardless of how long it took u

  7. #7
    Senior Member DJ Tony Rez's Avatar
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    Default Re: QUICKEST 16 I EVER WROTE!!!! 15 mins

    the first half i wasnt too impressed with.. sounded like a typical rapper's verse
    but the 2nd half i actually was feelin a lot more.. the use of words n rhymes seemed more well placed
    overall its a nice 16.. 7/10

    n lmao @ micmonsters sig

  8. #8
    Elite Producer Phase One's Avatar
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    Default Re: QUICKEST 16 I EVER WROTE!!!! 15 mins

    Quote Originally Posted by jefpeace View Post
    Okay, I hate to give negative criticism, but to be honest, it reads like a 15-minute effort. No substance, brah ... you're not telling a story here, just a list of random factoids.

    It does rhyme well and the cadence is there. Just needs a reason for being.
    this is very true

  9. #9

    Default Re: QUICKEST 16 I EVER WROTE!!!! 15 mins

    nice nice dude, sound good on a fun beat

  10. #10
    Livin the Atheist life Cesare Borgia's Avatar
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    Default Re: QUICKEST 16 I EVER WROTE!!!! 15 mins

    15 is considered quick? that's the average time it takes me to do most all mine.

    5 minutes is quick.

  11. #11
    Senior Member MicMonster's Avatar
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    Default Re: QUICKEST 16 I EVER WROTE!!!! 15 mins

    15 seems quick to me. Takes me a lot longer...

  12. #12
    Junior Member Young Moe's Avatar
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    Default Re: QUICKEST 16 I EVER WROTE!!!! 15 mins

    this had a dope boy feel to it...
    Flow and rhyme was on...
    kept the topic imo...
    Unless my understandin' is diff...
    Good stuff bruh keep at it...
    7/10

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