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Thread: Poisoned by Love

  1. #1

    Icon12 Poisoned by Love

    I guess you all may call this a short poem....

    Poisoned by Love


    I always wanted for you the very best
    The love you showed never seemed like any of the rest
    I'm so sorry I was blind
    But you were always on my mind
    Maybe I didn't hold you
    All those isolated times
    And I guess I never told you
    I'm so happy that you're mine
    Your kisses were like those of a serpentine
    Poisoning my veins - killing my heart
    But in the end they all felt so divine
    If only that day I were smart
    Maybe my heart wouldn't have been torn apart
    It's time for both of us to say goodbye
    And don't you dare cry
    Keep your head up high up in the Sky


    Tell me what you all think, I'm planning on giving this to the one I lost, after I say goodbye to her forever.

  2. #2
    Kentucky's Elite
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    Default Re: Poisoned by Love

    this was alright. it left me a bit confused with the line "your kisses were like a those of a serpentine poisoning my veins - killing my heart" I'm in between thinking this is negetive peice. but I don't think you meant for it to be. but it was alright.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Poisoned by Love

    The verse: "But in the end they all felt so divine" I thought it felt divine in the beginning and maybe in the middle but it poisons and kills you in the end. Maybe you could say " At first sprout it felt so divine, but in the end it's like Im drunken with wine.

  4. #4
    Registered User shushiehmusick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Poisoned by Love

    Quote Originally Posted by spiderson View Post
    I guess you all may call this a short poem....

    Poisoned by Love


    I always wanted for you the very best
    The love you showed never seemed like any of the rest
    I'm so sorry I was blind
    But you were always on my mind
    Maybe I didn't hold you
    All those isolated times
    And I guess I never told you
    I'm so happy that you're mine
    Your kisses were like those of a serpentine
    Poisoning my veins - killing my heart
    But in the end they all felt so divine
    If only that day I were smart
    Maybe my heart wouldn't have been torn apart
    It's time for both of us to say goodbye
    And don't you dare cry
    Keep your head up high up in the Sky


    Tell me what you all think, I'm planning on giving this to the one I lost, after I say goodbye to her forever.
    it's nice. but really there's no right or wrong for poetry ya know what i mean? poetry is more like you, what you feel but it's good

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