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Thread: just some more bars

  1. #1
    Elite Producer Damnage's Avatar
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    Default just some more bars

    im the captain on the flagship of this rap shit

    you yappin about trappin but you just some sad bitch

    with a crab itch,

    but im a savage causin havok i ravage ya mad quick

    turn ya cabbage to cole slaw im the most raw

    i make my foes fall, you just straddle dick

    im a little sick is what they yellin when im splittin they melon

    but i say im good, yea, im gellin

  2. #2
    Registered User chizop34's Avatar
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    Default Re: just some more bars

    Thats Sick...Dude your creative as mug

  3. #3
    Senior Member Keen Mind's Avatar
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    Default Re: just some more bars

    a little short makes it hard to get into it, good multis, vocab was straight, flow was in tact, for some reason i feel like you can write better than this, might just be me tho.

  4. #4
    Elite Producer Damnage's Avatar
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    Default Re: just some more bars

    Quote Originally Posted by Keen Mind View Post
    a little short makes it hard to get into it, good multis, vocab was straight, flow was in tact, for some reason i feel like you can write better than this, might just be me tho.
    im no rapper, i actually produce, but once in a while i get in the mood to write some shit....thats why i dont write big long verses...

  5. #5
    Senior Member Keen Mind's Avatar
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    Default Re: just some more bars

    ^ that would explain it. thats cool that you can just get in the mood and be a strong writer

  6. #6
    Member Amviscious's Avatar
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    Default Re: just some more bars

    Quote Originally Posted by Damnage View Post
    im no rapper, i actually produce, but once in a while i get in the mood to write some shit....thats why i dont write big long verses...
    I can feel you on that, I started as just a producer got frustrated, dropped it, then I got to writing and fell in love with it, now I'm getting back into producing after a couple years and doing both. If it's something you enjoy keep at it, to me it takes incredible talent to be capable of both producing and rapping.

    For someone who doesn't write much, it was a tight few bars. Rhymes were tough, but you could have made it deeper, if that makes sense to you. The way I see it is, there are verses you hear/read and feel a deep connection with, you just vibe to it. Then others just tend to scratch the surface, and that's where yours fell with me. Mainly because of its short length. and a couple punchlines were just whatever to me.

    Keep it up though you got potential.

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