Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Im the shit-sicksteen barz

  1. #1

    Default Im the shit-sicksteen barz

    My swag just goes man im hotter than these other kats
    -----s claimin tht they macs wit no hoes on they backs
    Its ilike that girl u fuckin with a boss im so sick ill catch cold-
    Yes im on some randy moss
    Im doin Everything that u dream about
    So if u dream abouy fuckin a bad bitch im walkin out her house
    B4 her man come
    -im quiet like a mouse
    Doin what i do girl u know what im about
    This is wayy to real-
    I kill no deal-
    Just watch what i do stay gettin bills
    Baby girl bad-
    Man she all tatted up we in the club and i said -
    Aye ma bac it back it up
    You gon get what i say-
    Wait i should slow it down
    I see u underweight but i got beats by the pound
    Bess believe its no trickin over here swagger stay drippin wet so call me swaggertear

  2. #2
    Senior Member DJ Tony Rez's Avatar
    Join Date
    19 Feb 2009
    Location
    Los Angeles!
    Age
    29
    Posts
    193

    Default Re: Im the shit-sicksteen barz

    writing and poetry should paint a picture in ur mind..trying to say the most with the least amount of words possible
    when i read this to be honest i thot 'aw shit heres another typical 16'... i really liked the couple of metaphors n play on words u used tho.. i would try to incorporate more of that into ur 16's
    keep at it tho playa

  3. #3
    Senior Member Keen Mind's Avatar
    Join Date
    14 Nov 2008
    Location
    315
    Posts
    272

    Default Re: Im the shit-sicksteen barz

    I agree with DJ, when you write you should create your own style, the effort is here, that much is evident, and to make it as a writer you should be able to write in all styles so this is something that can be done sometimes but in the future i think you should try more originality and break away from the mold that is set by other artists. whether it be topic wise or the approach of the piece is up to u. either way keep writing and eventually u will find a style all yer own...keep up

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
About CrazyPellas

CrazyPellas is a great music community that was founded in 2004, for Artists, DJs and Producers to Upload Music, Share Music and Get Feedback on your Music. We are constantly striving to improve CrazyPellas and ask you to contact us if you have any suggestions or if their is anything that we can help you with.

Connect With Us