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Thread: Im the shit-sicksteen barz

  1. #1

    Default Im the shit-sicksteen barz

    My swag just goes man im hotter than these other kats
    -----s claimin tht they macs wit no hoes on they backs
    Its ilike that girl u fuckin with a boss im so sick ill catch cold-
    Yes im on some randy moss
    Im doin Everything that u dream about
    So if u dream abouy fuckin a bad bitch im walkin out her house
    B4 her man come
    -im quiet like a mouse
    Doin what i do girl u know what im about
    This is wayy to real-
    I kill no deal-
    Just watch what i do stay gettin bills
    Baby girl bad-
    Man she all tatted up we in the club and i said -
    Aye ma bac it back it up
    You gon get what i say-
    Wait i should slow it down
    I see u underweight but i got beats by the pound
    Bess believe its no trickin over here swagger stay drippin wet so call me swaggertear

  2. #2
    Senior Member DJ Tony Rez's Avatar
    Join Date
    19 Feb 2009
    Los Angeles!

    Default Re: Im the shit-sicksteen barz

    writing and poetry should paint a picture in ur mind..trying to say the most with the least amount of words possible
    when i read this to be honest i thot 'aw shit heres another typical 16'... i really liked the couple of metaphors n play on words u used tho.. i would try to incorporate more of that into ur 16's
    keep at it tho playa

  3. #3
    Senior Member Keen Mind's Avatar
    Join Date
    14 Nov 2008

    Default Re: Im the shit-sicksteen barz

    I agree with DJ, when you write you should create your own style, the effort is here, that much is evident, and to make it as a writer you should be able to write in all styles so this is something that can be done sometimes but in the future i think you should try more originality and break away from the mold that is set by other artists. whether it be topic wise or the approach of the piece is up to u. either way keep writing and eventually u will find a style all yer own...keep up


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