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Thread: Ghetto Freak

  1. #1
    Registered User ninety9one's Avatar
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    16 Jun 2009
    Location
    Fort Myers,Fl Clinton,UT New London, CT
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    292

    Default Ghetto Freak

    its a jumbled mess but let me know what you think i realy like the 59/50 part


    I didnít come from the gehtto
    But when it come to street code and respect
    But I keep it real to the effect
    Of an o g
    Im not clamin to be anything but me
    A ghetto freak
    thatís been in the gutta
    Jus tryin to reach the peak
    So I sport the hawk and painted nails
    hen step on the scene
    Wearin something mean
    59/50 7 and a 3/8
    Always crooked
    Bein the mother fucker everyone hates
    Everybody sayin ďlook itĒ
    Im the laughin stalk
    Callin me a clown
    But it not my girl who sleeps around
    You may think im sick
    But shes lovin this dick
    Cuz im true to me
    And you true to who
    You ha
    You putin on a show
    Cant even lock a flow
    I donít even fell like explain my self no mo

  2. #2

    Default Re: Ghetto Freak

    "But it not my girl who sleeps around"

    OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

    creative stuff man.

  3. #3
    Senior Member MicMonster's Avatar
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    11 Sep 2008
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    199

    Default Re: Ghetto Freak

    dont fret but I didnt like it. Flow, complexity, rhymes, originality....all kinda sub-par to me. I dont know too much to say other than that.

  4. #4
    Senior Member DJ Tony Rez's Avatar
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    19 Feb 2009
    Location
    Los Angeles!
    Age
    29
    Posts
    193

    Default Re: Ghetto Freak

    to be honest i wasnt too impressed either.. one syllable rhymes really dont cut it for me anymore.. try to incorporate multiple syllable rhymes (for ex RAKIM)
    this is just my opinion tho
    keep at it man

  5. #5
    Senior Member Keen Mind's Avatar
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    14 Nov 2008
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    Default Re: Ghetto Freak

    i take it that you're a beginner, i say this because of the lack of complexity, this is very bland and kinda like the every day shit, nothing that really wowed me, the 59/50 line was alright and might sound nice on an audio but could also be improved, on the positive side of things, I think that if you practice, review and revise your work i think you do have the foundation to make some solid posts. even if it takes you 3 times as long, i would be interested to see a piece from you where u concentrate on complexity (multi syllable rhymes), and throw in some solid metaphors or at least original references. keep up

  6. #6
    Registered User ninety9one's Avatar
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    16 Jun 2009
    Location
    Fort Myers,Fl Clinton,UT New London, CT
    Posts
    292

    Default Re: Ghetto Freak

    out of all the written things i have posted i feel this is the most elementary yet its the only one people have posted to in reference to the one dimensional thing im workin on makin compound rhymes but thanks for the input and direction

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