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Thread: As her world turned black

  1. #1
    Livin the Atheist life Cesare Borgia's Avatar
    Join Date
    29 Nov 2004
    Westcoast USA

    Default As her world turned black

    She used to be the quite type years back when we was tight
    When everything was right, sincere and neither black or white
    Something so severe must have made what I loved disappear
    It appears the woman I revered is no longer here
    An omen of things to come and she's not the only one
    Never one to be outdone, I'm on the streets packing guns
    Perhaps it's cause you couldn't compete with the cash anymore
    Took it as defeat and dashed for better things to explore
    Still a fragile rapport, she's slipping away so gradual
    Popping pills, creeping looking for a new thrill to fulfill
    Still I think that maybe it could turn around in a blink
    When were at the brink that it could all go back into sync
    I take another drink and see it ain't no use to hope
    The scope is beyond me and it's been years since we last spoke
    Was it my mistakes that were to blame for the final stake?
    She couldn't escape it, in the end I know it's too late

    Such a tragic event that would lead to all her torment
    Once living content, then daddy died and the money's spent
    Never cried a tear when I was near, she held it in for years
    But no matter how she persevered sometimes it seemed clear
    She was damaged beyond repair, of that she seemed aware
    And so begins an affair of destruction and despair
    She didn't care or give a shit and was the first to admit
    She'd commit suicide and leave with her fucking wrists slit
    Inside she was worried that the pain would never subside
    She set aside the words of wisdom that her friends provide
    Look where u reside, so close to the outcome reaching 4 crumbs
    Feeling forever numb, deep down begging not to succumb
    On a dead run to the grave cause for the pain she's a slave
    Her world caved in and paved the way, now aint no time to save
    Nothing I gave could bring her back, nothing was left intact
    Weary of the act she played the game as her world turned black

    I see the endgame so clear and shed a tear, it's a shame
    Thought if I came 2 the rescue then she could shake these chains
    I doubt they had a clue about the stress that pursed her
    The hurt that ensued, in due time it came to posses her
    drinking to excess until the next man has her undressed
    mistaking his caress for love despite your minds protests
    Nonetheless, I tell her rest easy cause this I guarantee
    One day you'll be worry free so please just follow my lead
    I plead my case while we embrace and hope that I succeed
    Indeed, I hope you see I supply everything that you need
    I can't imply I'd be the perfect man but I swear I'll try
    I just can't deny I might think "fuck it all" and say goodbye
    If there be pain try to understand it was never my aim
    I came from nothing so I'm doomed to return into the flames
    I guess I just assumed one day soon she'd come running back
    Weary of the gloom, she hid it as her whole world turned black

  2. #2
    ♫ ♪ is life. mh bich who els's Avatar
    Join Date
    26 Mar 2006

    Default Re: As her world turned black

    this is grade A poetry.
    i dont understand why everyone is sleeping on your work and the whole creative writing section

  3. #3
    Banned CeasedThoughts's Avatar
    Join Date
    11 Jun 2008
    Worcester, Mass

    Default Re: As her world turned black

    ya thats hot i like the word play and how u rymed but i dont like that fact u dont got a hook, add a hook and that will improve the whole writting better if u ever wanted to record it, becuase u could make a hot song off this, good job man

  4. #4
    Senior Member Rodimus Rhyme's Avatar
    Join Date
    27 Nov 2004

    Default Re: As her world turned black

    Damn, that shits fire man. Do you record and make songs? The game's been needing someone like you, not afraid to say whats on their mind and its all real deep. Someone with a bit of thought behind them not this 'Rawrr Rawrrr Bang Bang Bling Bling Shit'. You're someone I very much admire for your skills. Keep up the good work!

  5. #5
    Livin the Atheist life Cesare Borgia's Avatar
    Join Date
    29 Nov 2004
    Westcoast USA

    Default Re: As her world turned black

    ^good looking on the feedback homie, right now i am in the first stages of putting together an album called "they'd be surprised", hopefully at some point i will get it out there to be heard.

  6. #6
    Registered User Epick One's Avatar
    Join Date
    24 Jul 2008
    East Los

    Default Re: As her world turned black

    damn man that shit was some ILL lyrics stay up man,

    True shit you got

    Perhaps it's cause you couldn't compete with the cash anymore
    Took it as defeat and dashed for better things to explore

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