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Thread: 1st Post This bout anythang and every thang.

  1. #1
    Registered User chizop34's Avatar
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    Default 1st Post This bout anythang and every thang.

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    Last edited by chizop34; 10-02-2010 at 5:08 AM.

  2. #2

    Default Re: 1st Post This bout anythang and every thang.

    I had a bit of trouble keepin the flow to this one, might be the way im readin it or sumthin but i was feelin this none the less. Keep it real Bro!!

  3. #3
    Registered User chizop34's Avatar
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    Default Re: 1st Post This bout anythang and every thang.

    111
    Last edited by chizop34; 10-02-2010 at 5:08 AM.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Rodimus Rhyme's Avatar
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    Default Re: 1st Post This bout anythang and every thang.

    Yh, like Base Head I'm feeling this but I couldn't really keep with the flow. Its a nice little rhyme you just need to set it down so its easier to read but other than that keep up the good work. And I feel you on that bullshit that people are quick to look but they not write anything down. Any thoughts are better than no thoughts, ya get me. Anyway, like i said keep it up!

  5. #5
    Registered User chizop34's Avatar
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    Default Re: 1st Post This bout anythang and every thang.

    111
    Last edited by chizop34; 10-02-2010 at 5:08 AM.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Keen Mind's Avatar
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    Default Re: 1st Post This bout anythang and every thang.

    alright, I've read this multiple times from start to finish and everytime I've run across the same problem, the flow needs work, it feels to me like you wrote this in two different settings in two completely seperate moods and tried to fuse it together, also it isnt very cohesive, it feels like a drunken freestyle which if thats what it is then its fitting ha, but on the real, write with a clear mind until you've become a master of yer trade then write tipsy. you do show some potential and you have some good ideas so keep posting, and take note on other people's pieces, dont bite just note what they do good. keep up

  7. #7
    Registered User chizop34's Avatar
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    Default Re: 1st Post This bout anythang and every thang.

    111
    Last edited by chizop34; 10-02-2010 at 5:08 AM.

  8. #8
    Senior Member MicMonster's Avatar
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    Default Re: 1st Post This bout anythang and every thang.

    this reads like a drunken FS too. Its real sloppy. I'd like to read some sober flows...and I didnt read your entire comment about the replies but yeah I feal u.

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