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Thread: 1 verse

  1. #1
    Senior Member Rodimus Rhyme's Avatar
    Join Date
    27 Nov 2004
    Location
    Yorkshire
    Age
    28
    Posts
    647

    Default 1 verse

    I'm Too Fly To Die
    You'll Never See Me In A Coffin/
    I Box Him, Beat The Reaper
    And Take His Black Hoodie Off Him/
    Fuck A Couple Porsches, I'mma Jump
    On One Of The Apocalyptic Horses/
    And Of Course Bitch I Got My Army
    Surrounded By A Million Walking Corpses/
    I'm Bombing Y'all Whores
    Like I Was Drawn To The Iraq War/
    Y'all Talking Money Motherfuckers
    For Sure, I'mma Stack More/
    You Get Your Life Tekken
    Because I'm Using Heihachi Force/
    I'm Strapped For War With The Black Mac
    Hanging Out The Apache Doors/
    If You Fucking With Me
    I Will Leave You In the Cemetary/
    Forever Dead And Buried Dumb Bitch
    This Shit's Not Temporary/
    Call Me The Horseman
    Because My Fucking Head Has Gone/
    But I keep My Rhymes On Point
    Like The Five Sides Of A Pentagon/
    I Got My Luger, Talk Shit Bitch
    I'll Shoot Ya, Get It Through Ya/
    Like I Care? I Make Nightmares
    For That Bitch Freddy Krueger/

    what you think?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Keen Mind's Avatar
    Join Date
    14 Nov 2008
    Location
    315
    Posts
    272

    Default Re: 1 verse

    this was alright, it took me a good two read throughs before i really caught the flow but once i did it flowed pretty solid throughout. I think some things could be re worded but i think yer developed enough to notice it if u ever move this one to audio. I feel like this was a piece u wrote quickly (in comparrison to your other work) but nonetheless is still good. keep up

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