Run ins with the Sausage Creature (week 4)

Run ins with the Sausage Creature

As leatherface187 knows, I tend to stay away from anything with two wheels that goes incredibly fast because of my fear of the Sausage Creature, let me explain.

My first run in with the Sausage Creature came when i was around eight years old, I was hauling ass down the narrow ally way behind the apartments where i lived on my red BMX bike when out of no where a pot hole in the concrete jumped out at me, because i was traveling at a break neck speed it was imposable for me to stop in time or avoid the fate that waited for me, all i could do was tighten my jaw and wait for the pain that was sure to follow the catastrophic crash.

I remember thinking to myself "brace for the collision" while at the same time keeping a death grip on the handle bars praying somehow i would be able to escape permanent injury and disfigurement, a long while seemed to pass as the pot hole came closer and closer, anybody who has ever been in a situation where it was certain they were facing an extremely painful ending know that time seems to creep to a slow, perhaps as a cruel joke to give you time to think of the terrible outcome the certainly waits for you.

There was a strange calm before the crash even though i knew how it would most likely end, and then it came......the front tire of my red BMX bike connected with the pot hole and the back tire lifted off the ground at an imposable speed, as i lurched forward it didn't even occur to me to put my hands in front of me to protect my face and head, at that moment i knew in my heart i was screwed, i closed my eyes and if i recall right, my mouth was slightly agape in the realization that i was looking down at the ground without touching it while moving rather fast, then it was time..............WHAM!!!!!, meet the Sausage Creature.

I felt my mouth meet the concrete as every nerve in my mouth went into shock, surprisingly it was almost completely painless, the only thing that hurt was the thought that my teeth probably did not survive the impact, if i was able to turn my head midway through my death slide i imagine i would be able to see bits and pieces of my teeth grinding away, then of course there was the factor that the gravel had worked its way into my gums from the initial impact.

As i came to a stop, i reached up to survey the damage and felt that the majority of my teeth were missing in action, not to mention i had a fair amount of blood coming from my face, i looked over at the scene and seen that my teeth were scattered along the concrete and for the most part broken into small pieces, right then it struck me that i had not been able to evade major injury like i had hoped, the most i could do at that point was hope that there was a good dentist who could put me back together and make me look at least part way decent.

Fast forward to the present, my face is recovered, my teeth are in the right place and there's not much scaring, the only scars that remain are the mental ones, the scars that make me fear the Sausage Creature and pray i never run into him again, it helps to keep in mind that the Sausage Creature knows no remorse or limitation, he will disfigure you at every chance that presents it's self.

word, we have all run into the sausage creature (im guessing the sausage creature is the dude that wants us all to look fucked up right), when I got jumped in 2003 for beating these dudes in a hiphop battle I hosted, headlined and won, and these 5 dudes where kicking the shit out of me, kicking me in the face with boots and shit, (breaking my jaw in 2 places) I thought id end up looking like the elephant man (and I did you should have seen me when I got out of the hospital after they reconstructed my face,,, I got a titanium jaw bitches - no terminator),,,,

FUck the sausage creature hes a homo

1

PDP

Quote:

(im guessing the sausage creature is the dude that wants us all to look fucked up right)

Exactly, dudes an asshole lol

yeah he sucks, i was bikeing and my wheel turns 90 degreed so i flip over , land on my chin (left part), 3 years later i'm riding my bike again , same thing happens only now it's the right side(i also broke both my arms, wrists and something else), now i have a scar froms on side to another, there grows no hair , that sucks, atleast i don't have to shave:D

^ouch man,, both arms and wrists thats a major shitty 6 weeks

Damn man, The Sausage Creature must have it in for you.

yeah but i started using my right arms within the first week :D and the left a week later :D

what do you mean?, you took the casts off?

NO, it wasn't broken , it had a crack in it

it did hurt like hell evertime i hit a key:D

^ no doubt, that shit would suck

havent really got fucked up that bad

never wheeley too hard on mountain bikes with shocks, that is all

^ end up sitting on your ass dont ya

when i landed i didnt land like a normal wheeley, i leaned forward when i landed and pushed the shocks down, i ended up doing a second unintentional wheeley, the shit bounced up way higher than before

then the wheel landed and just detached from the bike, i ate shit

didnt get fucked up that bad though

haha thinking bout that a friend of me did a wheely , the front wheel wasn't really on the bike so it's stayed on the ground , when he "landed the wheely he landed on the fork of the bike haha *faceplant* no scratches or stuff but real funny to see :D

^ ouch that would hurt like a motherfucker