Prayers

The boys prayer...

Our beer
which cometh in bottles
hallowed be thy ale
thy will be drunk
i will be drunk
at home as we are in the pub
give us each day our daily beverage
and forgive us our spillages
and we will forgive those who spillage against us
and lead us not into poofy winebars
or detract us from real ale
for mine is the bitter
the totty and the footy
forever and ever
Barmen.


The girls prayer....

Our cash
which art on plastic
hallowed be thy name
thy Cartier watch
thy Prada bag
in Harrods
as it is in Selfridges
give us each day your platinum visa
and forgive us our overdaraft
as we forgive those that stop us spending
and lead us not unto market stalls
but deliver us unto Louis Vuitton
for thine is the Gucci
the Dior and the Armani
for Chanel No 5 and Eternity
Amex