How To Write a Weezy verse in 10 steps LOL

How to Write a Lil' Wayne Verse in 10 Easy Steps

1. Pick a Verb. Preferably a verb about running away from the law or from an assailant. I.E. Duck, Run, Dodge or maybe Stop, Drop or Roll. L'il Wayne LOVES stopping, dropping and rolling. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

2. Connnect the verb to some sort of simile. This is crucial. Every single L'il Wayne line must contain some sort of relatively obvious simile. So maybe you can "duck like Scrooge." "Run like a bloody nose." Or even "Dodge like Kansas." You can do metaphors but try to steer away from doing this too often, lest people think that you are a different ghost-writer. That is bad. Also for bonus points talk about how "sweet" you are. L'il Wayne loves talking about being sweet like a Tahitian Treat or some other delicacy high in sucrose.

3. Mention "Slanging Keys." This is crucial to establish street cred. Don't pay attention to the fact that L'il Wayne's been famous since 12 and the only thing he knows about slangin' is that he speaks with it. After all, if you don't talk drugs how else can you impress the translucent Dairy Queen-white music critics. This way they can also compare you to the Wire. (Just remember to connect all that "slanging keys" talk with a simile).

4. Declare that you are Weezy F. Baby. This will tell listeners who you are. Sure, they probably already know, but adding The "F" in the middle of the name uncertainly adds to Wayne's level of class. It makes him seem like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Exactly like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Whatever you do, don't attempt to ascertain what the "F" stands for. That my friends is a slippery slope. And whatever you do, don't think about what the "F" stands for while looking at a picture of Wayne and Baby making out.

5. Talk about hustling. Music critics love hustling. Presumably, they are devotees to the energetic style of basketball popularized by players like Ben Wallace, Kurt Rambis and Mark Madsen. This will make them feel at home. If there's anything music writers know about, it's hustling.

6. Talk about Baby. Call him your Daddy. Forget the fact that he's not actually your Daddy. Forget the fact that the majority of people that call other men "daddy" are prostitutes. It's unimportant. Mention something that Baby told you. Maybe that he told you that "these *****es is *****es." Or that he told you to "Turn around and stick out." (Maybe, he was just quoting Sir-Mix-A-Lot.) Ignore the fact that you call a man named "Baby," "Daddy." Let's just chalk that up to being a New Orleans thing.

7. Make some sort of obvious pop culture technology reference. Talk about IPods. Or Myspace. Or gigabytes. Something remotely technological. It will show that Wayne is not completely retarded (just partially) and might have actually read a newspaper once or twice. Which clearly means he is a genius.

8. Talk about how poorly you treat women. Perhaps you can claim how you'll "never love a *****." Or how you'll "never give a ho a damn thing." The more misogynistic the better. This will definitely do much to steer people away from those nasty "gay" rumors.

9. Apropos to nothing, make some sort of remark about Hurricane Katrina. No need to bother making it have anything to do with the rest of the verse. After all, never underestimate white liberal guilt. Any sort of name-dropping will make white liberals feel bad and they will forget the fact that Wayne is a multi-millionaire and anoint him the voice of the people. Also, be sure to make wild ridiculous conspiracy theories like claiming that you heard George Bush blew up the levees. The more absurd the better. Go for it.

10. Proclaim yourself the "Greatest Rapper Alive."Forget the Fact that Wayne would be lucky to be included in a list of the Top 20 rappers working right now. Most music critics haven't listened to Hip Hop Made Before 1999 anyway (other than Public Enemy). If you proclaim yourself the greatest, you will be the greatest. Or at least people will be foolish enough to buy this canard.

Now you're On Your Way To Being Cash Money's Newest Ghost-Writer. Fame, Fortune (and anonymity) Await You. Feel free to produce your own little Wayne verse in the comments. Or just send it directly to Cash Money. The Ghostwriting Hotlines are open now

example :
I'm jumpin fences like Seabiscuit, sh!t
The work's heavy, my napsack is petty
Its weezy f. baby young Carter in the greasy Chevy
I used to rob cars, now i cop cars
Kinda like tha PO-LICE
but i smoke weed

And my daddy's wit me
Baby is almost fifty
but they call this ----- baby
cuz his head be shavie'd

Since I works in the kitchen
I got the plasma vision
and about seventy women
cookin coke in the kitchen

I slap them bitches vicious
like Katrina winds
and hit hard like the nuclear missiles
that blew up New Orleans kid

Bush wants Iraqi oil
but not for cookin' fish
I'm the greatest to ever do it
Fk that classic tip
__________________

Hey, I dodge like Dorgango, the coke I still sniff it
Weezy, I treat -----s like Snikkets--Lemony Yeh
unforunate events like Katrina
the four 'll leave -----s like FEMA, I'll eat ya

I call em chicken wings with barbeque sause
fillet fish and a big mac, don't forget my drink bitch
me and my daddy-we some goons and players
we give a bitch the force like Luke and Vader

I take my white ho to Hollywood, tell her there Halle go
Man I'm so hallygroove (i dont know how 2 spell that place)
Weezy F. Baby, I still kiss my daddy no homo
I still whip the Caddy in slo mo

I got a bitch, she white like powder
I'm fly like Bush when he swipped them towers
Greatest rapper alive, Thats what baby told his son
I'm so high I can smell the sun

Weezy.....yeh

ROFL!!!

I'm im da booth spittin fire like a dragon
The roof's peeled of on the coop so I'm flashin (pause)
My name Wayne! 17th Ward Goon!
I got precision like a harpoon, whores swoon!

Bitch! I got be stuntin like my daddy!
Scootin on 30" purple codeine on the caddy
I whip coke like I work in the factry [factory]
then I ship it out and and give phenes satisfactry [satisfactory]

Fuck all you bitches who ain't 5-0-4
we do him like Katrina did and leave they body afloat!
No time for these bullshit rappers
Cause I'm the best alive, smoke sticky call me sappers, yeh!

Ya'll -----z funny as hell

my names lil wayne and im a horrible rapper.



-the end

lol, that was the best verse by far! LOL! jk

hello world

i spit like lamas, roll like hondas
but not hondas im the future like nastradamus YEH
weezy fin baby but im not fuckin baby
that's me daddy holmes, kiss him?..well maybe
so smoked out that my veins bleed green
got world wild life trying to save me
cause the po-lice always after me so
tell em cant catch me like leo-nardo
flow retardo, cha cha cha....ricky ricardo
i got a hot car so it moves when i say start, go
im the greatest in the rap game u cant best me
im reigning on rappers like when bush broke the levies
eat em up for lunch they crunch like nestle
billboards is me i pop like pepsi YAAAADIIIIIG

my names lil wayne and i really suck
i kiss my daddy baby and we like to fuck
fresher than clean clothes, i cost a buck
like the dollar menu ----- THE FUCKIN DOLLA MENU -----


his shit is so whack and retarded hes not even worth the first simple shitty rhyme that comes to my mind lol

actually this shit is true... for example i listened to the remix of Crying out for me. And well be damned... the tutorial was right.

Lmfao!

is that the song where he like

and i say what, and you say wat
and i say wat? and you like what?
and i'm like what? and you like no
and i'm like no? and you say no!
then I say what? then you say fuck
and i say fuck? then i'm like who
you say not you, then im like then who?


I WAS LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUUUUUUPP
lmao i couldnt believe what I was hearing...all I could picture in my head was that magazine cover where he had that shirt on that said "I AM HIP HOP"


I AM ASHAMED

lmao dis is true
but reel talk almost everybody is WEEZYFIED at my skoo
dey love dat mario remix matterfact
but dont lie yall kno yall was bumpin drought 3 wen it came out

i wasnt

lol i wasnt either...i aint start listenin 2 him until carter 2...i think it was 2 lol....the shit wit tha mobb...but i was never on his shit....i only listen 2 him wen my friends b like...yo listen 2 this new lil wayne shit...i b like ok.....he aint nobody i go lookin 4 tho

he has some hot shit in my opinion...but he not that hot...AT ALL....he okay...i have a couple of theorys why people actually like him....but theres a couple of reasons why he's huge NOW and not when he 1st came on the scene