2 jokes

JJ Luchiano · **2 jokes -** 10-01-2008, 04:29 PM

An old Indian goes walking into a bar. On his shoulder is a shotgun and in his other hand is a bucket of shit. He is dragging an old mangy cat on a string. He walks up to the bar and says,

"UMM gimme pitcher of beer"

The bartender pours him a pitcher and slides it across to him. The indian picks up the pitcher and guzzles it down and smashes the pitcher on the bar. He then whips the shotgun from his shoulder, sticks the barrel in the bucket of shit and pulls the trigger, shit flies all over the place!

He then grabs the cat, rips a leg off of it and starts eating it.

The Bartender screams

"What the hell do you think you are doing!?"

"Umm me want to be like white man, drink beer, shoot shit and eat p****."

80 Year Old Man

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.

"I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."

The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at he bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor.