Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Masquerade (Fake Homies)

  1. #1
    Gold Seller Visible's Avatar
    Join Date
    10 Nov 2006
    Location
    detroit, mi (tha 313)
    Posts
    131

    Default Masquerade (Fake Homies)

    Ok I think I know what crazypellas members want from me- a rap track. The poetry/lyrical abstract stuff I'm puttin' on here is not what folk is accustomed to- so i'll guess save that for another day. So here's a rap piece (1st draft) I did on the 12th of March; its about fake homies. Let me know what you think of the track, the scandalous dude i'm speakin' of and whatever else. The track was produced by D'nyce.



    Masquerade

    [I thought you was my homie but you was a snake in disguise
    I shouldn't [have] ever ever trusted your eyes] 2x

    [I thought you was my homie] 3x
    [I thought you was my homie] 3x

    See real homies you let them in your home:
    To meet your fam, get a meal and use your phone
    See real homies you let them know you;
    you tell them things you wouldn't normally do.
    You let them know about your past
    Because like bell bottoms, you know that info will stay in the past.
    You let them about your future plans
    so they can offer advice and help if they can.
    You get to be like MJ and Pippen; Newton and Hampton;
    Kel and Keenan
    High fives, hand shakes and even man hugs-
    cuz its all just real love

    [I thought you was my homie but you was a snake in disguise
    I shouldn't [have] ever ever trusted your eyes] 2x

    [I thought you was my homie] 3x
    [I thought you was my homie] 3x

    See real homies they don't tell you lies
    Only cowards have things to hide
    See real homies you trust them with your life
    Am I my brother's keeper? You gosh darn right!
    Loyality and honor are my neck ties
    I expect my homies to iron their pants with honesty and pride
    Providing each other with faith and strength
    Deceit and treachery is not possible in the world we live
    If you fake love like girls who fake orgasms
    Then I can't forgive

    I thought you was my homie but you was a snake in disguise
    I shouldn't [have] ever ever trusted your eyes
    I thought you was my homie but you was a snake in disguise
    But I didn't see the knife by side
    From the beginning you wanted to ruin my
    Life

    Your like fake police who quarantine folks home,
    stealing their possessions but act like its a crime scene though
    Our bond is like toddlers when their toilet training
    You squatted on me like I was the object of your toilet training
    [You] Pissed on me, so now I'm pissed off!
    Lying will get you a punishment worse than the holocaust!
    I defended your name until my fam I found you slain.
    You stole from Sister and cheated on my Best friend man.
    I asked you about the latter and you lacked a lot of detail
    So I sniffed around like a police hound
    More dirty draws than a laundry mat is what I found
    Resisting the temptation now
    To hospitalize this clown

    I thought you was my homie man... you m.f.

    [I thought you was my homie but you was a snake in disguise
    I shouldn't [have] ever ever trusted your eyes] 2x

    [I thought you was my homie] 3x
    [I thought you was my homie] 3x
    Last edited by Visible; 14-03-2008 at 4:09 AM.
    Young Revolutionary.
    Know Allegiance

  2. #2
    YA GIRL NUFFIN LIKE MINE Young Ef's Avatar
    Join Date
    26 Nov 2004
    Location
    EAST SIDE BANGA LBLOCK SOULJA!
    Age
    31
    Posts
    12,061

    Default Re: Masquerade (Fake Homies)

    a rap peice? wow if you a emcee and you make hip-hop music then whatever you pushin out people gonna respect cause one thing bout us hip-hopers we respect it if its real love it if its dope so what im saying to you is just because we may not be feeling the poetic side of your style doesn't mean you have to change it to something you dont really do to impress people here

    second maybe if you listened and replied to more people more often you can get a feel of whatever we got going on here all you doing is slowing your elevation down by not really being active

    third your hook was aii but its kinda basic i think i like it how you deliver it...tha beat is hot mainly at tha end when it breaks down

    you gotta work on your flow and find a real style for yourself because i can tell your not confortable on this at all

    im not feeling your voice cracking like your 10 you gotta fix that

    im not feeling this it sounds like some song they would have played when they rolled the credits for boyz in da hood or somethin lol

    your voice sounds to monotone and you dont have not real feeling to the song tho a good concept to write about the style in witch deilivered wasn't feelin it

    next time u make a track be real to yourself

  3. #3
    Gold Seller Visible's Avatar
    Join Date
    10 Nov 2006
    Location
    detroit, mi (tha 313)
    Posts
    131

    Default Re: Masquerade (Fake Homies)

    Quote Originally Posted by Young Ef View Post
    a rap peice? wow if you a emcee and you make hip-hop music then whatever you pushin out people gonna respect cause one thing bout us hip-hopers we respect it if its real love it if its dope so what im saying to you is just because we may not be feeling the poetic side of your style doesn't mean you have to change it to something you dont really do to impress people here

    second maybe if you listened and replied to more people more often you can get a feel of whatever we got going on here all you doing is slowing your elevation down by not really being active

    third your hook was aii but its kinda basic i think i like it how you deliver it...tha beat is hot mainly at tha end when it breaks down

    you gotta work on your flow and find a real style for yourself because i can tell your not confortable on this at all

    im not feeling your voice cracking like your 10 you gotta fix that

    im not feeling this it sounds like some song they would have played when they rolled the credits for boyz in da hood or somethin lol

    your voice sounds to monotone and you dont have not real feeling to the song tho a good concept to write about the style in witch deilivered wasn't feelin it

    next time u make a track be real to yourself

    I am not making music that is foreign to "who I am." I am not changing my style to impress anyone. I have put three tracks on the site and no one has been the same. I have more than one style, I do not confine myself to anyone type of style. I wrote and spit the track the way I was feeling it, not because I wanted to go against me or impress anyone. If I put out another track it will be different than the last.

    I make my music for my heart, if people feel my heart then they will feel my music.

    In the track, and as with all my tracks, everything is intentional. The hook is basic for a reason. I am monotone because the track is monotone, I pick when the track picks up and gives energy when the track speaks to me. Anywayz the track was a rough draft, a 1st draft- i'll make sure to post when i have finalized a draft from now on.

    I am active on this site; I don't post much but ever since I have been a member I have been posting music in the download section, reading articles that members post and listening to the music in the audio and instrumental section what folk put up. I have voted in rap poll contests, I remember one of the first ones where everyone went ghost and if I remember correctly you ended up winning. I am fairly active, my number of posts are deceptive.

    I don't think its me not knowing the site, I think its the site not knowing me. I respect your feedback though.

    Stay up, peace.
    ComplXx
    (The Visible Revolutionary)
    Last edited by Visible; 15-03-2008 at 3:44 AM.
    Young Revolutionary.
    Know Allegiance

  4. #4
    YA GIRL NUFFIN LIKE MINE Young Ef's Avatar
    Join Date
    26 Nov 2004
    Location
    EAST SIDE BANGA LBLOCK SOULJA!
    Age
    31
    Posts
    12,061

    Default Re: Masquerade (Fake Homies)

    i have won all CP emcee battles

    but yeah from your blurb you wrote "seems yall want a rap track from me" just seemed like you were switching it up to fit in here

    second i don't notice you giving much feed like if you check i have gave replies to every track mostly only ones i dont listen to is when i gotta download or go on zshare

    but whatever if you like your music then i love your music you gotta do what speaks to you fuck what speaks to us at da end of the day i aint gotta like what you do but you do

    so stay up

  5. #5
    Gold Seller Visible's Avatar
    Join Date
    10 Nov 2006
    Location
    detroit, mi (tha 313)
    Posts
    131

    Default Re: Masquerade (Fake Homies)

    I will try to make myself more clear when i write something next time.
    I categorize my pieces different than most ppl do.

    I care about if people feeling what I sayin and how I'm saying it;
    but I guess my problem is folk don't know my intentions behind
    my music, and I can agree with you that would come with being
    more involved in the community. I definitely respect your criticism
    and everyone else's too, so keep tearing my sh*t to pieces- its makes
    be wanna do better on the next track.

    Listening to it again i c dat:
    I agree with you on the monotone thing, that sh*t only happens when
    I don't know my piece. I did try to pick up the energy but not knowing
    the words distorted my flow when the break broke down.
    I'm probably gonna redo it, just not now; but let know about the lyrics
    other than the hook- thats what i really pride myself on.
    Young Revolutionary.
    Know Allegiance

  6. #6
    YA GIRL NUFFIN LIKE MINE Young Ef's Avatar
    Join Date
    26 Nov 2004
    Location
    EAST SIDE BANGA LBLOCK SOULJA!
    Age
    31
    Posts
    12,061

    Default Re: Masquerade (Fake Homies)

    yeah you lyrically are a deep dude but i have learned if you are not delivering it to the point where people are engaged in what your saying the lyrical content is just a waste of skill you feel me

    if you want my advice i think you need to spend a few days listening to a lot of your music reading over a lot of your rhymes then listen to a lot of music your feeling right now..not just like yeah you rock too but you feel deep in your soul somethin that makes you feel then write a rhyme then i promise you that right there will be your soul who you are

    another way to find your nitch is just recording yourself practicing different flows you will find it

    and a tip to remeber your rhymes is to come up with a flow and a rhyme scheme before you start writing sorta like how you plan on delievering the words to the music before you even write the words then when you start writing it has a melody already a tempo so its already sort of stuck in your mind how u wanna deliver so now da words coem easier plus you should be writing and saying it over and over again as your writing so you get a feel for it

    you have to know your music that is an important part otherwised your gonna always have that forced sound..you can even record it stumbling through the words then listen until you have it memorized

  7. #7

    Default Re: Masquerade (Fake Homies)

    DO What Feels Right To You Visible, Take Ur Own Style And Master It. Thats What Makes You A Different MC. The Last thing We need Right Now Is Another "Lil Wayne" Wanabee...Real Talk.


    I PUT MY LIFETIME IN BETWEEN THE PAPERS LINES...

  8. #8
    Respected Member / Elite Artist Clinton L.G.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    23 Dec 2004
    Location
    Jersey City, New Jersey
    Age
    28
    Posts
    1,066

    Default Re: Masquerade (Fake Homies)

    Quote Originally Posted by Young Ef View Post
    and a tip to remeber your rhymes is to come up with a flow and a rhyme scheme before you start writing sorta like how you plan on delievering the words to the music before you even write the words then when you start writing it has a melody already a tempo so its already sort of stuck in your mind how u wanna deliver so now da words coem easier plus you should be writing and saying it over and over again as your writing so you get a feel for it
    Yeah thats how i write all my shits....i think of wat ima talk about...then i come up with a delivery before i write anything....if i hear a beat and i know wat i wanna talk about but i cant find a delivery thats satisfactory 2 me i will not write until i found it....once you find it WORDS DO COME EASIER....but yeah the track def needs work my man

    i dont wanna say wat was said already so you just work on what you said....as far as lyrical content i cant really judge...cuzz thats like me tell you what you should feel an that aint right...but if i read correctly you said you do care wat people think about your work....i personally think you may need to go in again on ya lyrical content...there is plenty of diff ways to say wat u said an get ya point across effectively..even more effective than wat you already did....but 1st work on ya flow b4 lyrics....but other than that i like the concept of the track cuz -----s are fake....im goin through situations now thats showin me how fake muhfuckas is....so i feel that

    1ne

    keep up my -----

    PS
    Is that your real voice or did u use some type of effect.....lol ya voice is a lil scary my dude....it makes me uncomfortable
    Last edited by Clinton L.G.; 17-03-2008 at 7:11 PM.

Similar Threads

  1. Wrestling Fake or Real? (WWE, TNA e.t.c.)
    By Peter M in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 07-12-2011, 9:43 AM
  2. criminals gone wild FAKE!
    By mh bich who els in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 29-01-2008, 7:27 AM
  3. saigon to retire? fake or not?
    By mh bich who els in forum Mainstream Music
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 20-11-2007, 2:47 PM
  4. Ay Watup Homies
    By djdb43 in forum Introduce Yourself
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 29-12-2005, 12:52 PM
  5. 50 Cent news... seems FAKE
    By Mr530 in forum Mainstream Music
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 01-10-2005, 2:35 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
About CrazyPellas

CrazyPellas is a great music community that was founded in 2004, for Artists, DJs and Producers to Upload Music, Share Music and Get Feedback on your Music. We are constantly striving to improve CrazyPellas and ask you to contact us if you have any suggestions or if their is anything that we can help you with.

Connect With Us