How to kick her to the curb?

So when breaking up with the significant other, what is the best way to tell her you aint feeling her without breaking her heart?

u see yourself traveling two different directions?

but in my opinion if u been with them for a long time even that would break their heart so i dunno ???

Yeah I think that would hurt her, I am stuck here bro, I need to break it easily and not break her heart.... this is gonna be tough

heres some info u might wanna take a look at...

1. More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person ending the relationship as it is on the person being broken up with - don't assume just because a person is breaking up with you means that they no longer care about you, caring about you and wanting a relationship with you are not one and the same.
2. Nobody likes to hurt another person, especially somebody they have been close to, and it is often very easy to guilt trip somebody into staying with you when they are trying to end things. Resist this urge! When you use guilt as a way to stop a break up you not only cheat yourself out of having a good and true relationship, you foster resentment in the other person which could lead to greater pain and heart ache in the future.
3. Being broken up with does not mean that there is something wrong with you; it just means that there is something that is not working in the relationship. Try not to take the rejection too personally. Remember that lots of great people have had failed relationships - the fact that the relationships failed says nothing about their value as a person. The fact that your relationship failed likewise says nothing about you as a person.
4. It is all right to cry, get mad and feel hurt when you are dumped. These are normal natural feelings. Just be sure that you let your feelings out in a safe place among friends or family. Do not make your ex the target of your feelings, even if they have done something to deserve your outrage. The sooner you let go of the other person, the sooner the healing can begin.
5. Breaking up is never easy. You will have good days and you will have bad days. Take it one day at a time and don't beat yourself up if you have an overly emotional day - you're only human after all.
6. Break ups are often followed by one of the parties starting a new relationship and when this happens it can bring up all sorts of old feelings. If you thought you were over someone who broke up with you and find yourself upset at the news that s/he has moved on, rest assured you are normal. Let yourself be upset, it is part of the healing process.
7. Acting out in anger is never good for anybody. After being broken up with don't spread mean or spiteful rumors. Don't betray former confidences by telling old secrets to others. If another person was involved in your break up resist the urge to slam them behind their back. Acting vicious only makes you look bad and any satisfaction you may feel will be short lived. In the end this sort of behaviour will only make you feel worse.
8. A big part of the pain of breaking up comes from a feeling of embarrassment. We often fear how the situation will look to outsiders. Refuse to be embarrassed, even if you did something outlandish to cause your break up. Letting go of the embarrassment will help you move on to the healing.
9. Nobody ever deserves to be hurt. Your ex does not deserve to be hurt because you are hurting. Your ex's new love interest (if one even exists) does not deserve to be hurt just because you feel jealous. You do not deserve to be hurt, even if you acted badly and caused the break up. Breaking up hurts, but it doesn't have to be made worse by holding a grudge or drowning yourself in a pool of if only's. Deal with the reality and let go of your anger, the pain will disappear more quickly if you do.
10. Things may seem bleak now but you never know what the future may hold for you and your ex. You may get back together someday. You may not. Either way it is better to let go of a faltering relationship while there is still some caring left between the two of you. If you play it out to the bitter end and leave your ex no choice but to hate you to get rid of you, you close the door to the future. Bowing out graciously leaves room for a future relationship with your ex, even if it is just as good friends.

When we first start a new relationship we are so filled with happy euphoric feelings of love that it seems like things couldn't ever change, but more often than not they do. More often than not they end. It is a sad fact of dating that things don't always work out and when a relationship starts to turn it can be hard to accept. Is your relationship reaching it's expiry date? Is a break up in the near future? Should you get out before things get ugly or hang on and see if there is something left to save? Take our "Is it time to break up?" quiz to get a second opinion.

Remember: If your relationship is emmotionally or physically abusive, or if it causes you to act in a self destructive manner you should get out regardless of how "in love" you feel. Relationships that hurt don't need to be saved.

Q: When was the last time the two of you had a fight?
Within the past 3 days.
More than 3 days ago, less than 2 weeks ago.
More than 2 weeks ago.

Breaking up is rarely easy. You both had feelings for each other at one point, and maybe you still do. The key is to do it maturely, without deliberate pain, so that you can both move on with your lives and find someone better suited for you. A relationship really needs two fully committed people, so if one of you doesn't want to be in the relationship any more, it's best for BOTH of you to end it. That's the key message to get across.

Don't get into lots of blame-finding. There is always fault on both sides in a relationship that fails. Make sure you sit down face to face somewhere quiet. Never break up over the phone or via email, that's completely unfair. A relationship is based on trust and dependability - don't prove you're unworthy of that in the final hour. Sit down and explain it's not going to work. If your partner has questions, answer them as fairly as you can, but without going into lots of back-stabbing. Breaking up isn't about finding fault. It's about you both being able to find "closure" to this relationship so you are able to then move on to a new one.

It's really in both of your best interests to end this cleanly. If you don't, it will come back to haunt you in many ways. If you can both accept that this was simply not meant to be, and that somewhere out there a new person awaits which IS perfect for each of you, you might even be able to stay friends. Or if not, you can look back on your time together as an enjoyable experiment which just didn't work out the way you'd originally hoped.

ok here man............................................... ........................

here's what one girl had to say...

Breaking up with him without hurting him
This afternoon i am going to break up with my boyfriend. We've only been going out for a month and a half but I just feel liek it's not working. We have been friends for ages and all that sort of went away from the moment he asked me out.
When I tell him this I know i am going to feel guilty because i have a feeling he likes me quite a bit and that he isnt expecting it. I was thinking of waiting a little but then I realised that there was no point. If you really believe its nnot going well and its not going to improve then just get it over and done with.
This afternoon im simply going to tell him the truth: face to face. As I see him every day at work I feel a text or note would just make it seriously awkward. Im going express that I just liked it best when we were friends which i know may sound so typical but in this case it really is the truth. I just hope that when it is done, he wont look at me like ive wounded him too badly. I hate causing pain, especially to people i do care for.

If you are thinking of doing the same thing, try and imagine the scene. Don't reherse too much but I think it helps to imagine how he will react and ways you could make him feel better without sounding too smug or cliched (for example: you deserve some1 SO MUCH better).
Good luck to anyone, rght now im quite nervous but I think I will feel a lot better when it is done. Hopefully tonight I can feel not only guilt but a lot of relief pass over me.


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thought maybe you could relate to this ya know... anyway hope it helps


wun~

Quote:

Originally Posted by wunthugspassion heres some info u might wanna take a look at... 1. More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person ending the relationship as it is on the person being broken up with - don't assume just because a person is breaking up with you means that they no longer care about you, caring about you and wanting a relationship with you are not one and the same. 2. Nobody likes to hurt another person, especially somebody they have been close to, and it is often very easy to guilt trip somebody into staying with you when they are trying to end things. Resist this urge! When you use guilt as a way to stop a break up you not only cheat yourself out of having a good and true relationship, you foster resentment in the other person which could lead to greater pain and heart ache in the future. 3. Being broken up with does not mean that there is something wrong with you; it just means that there is something that is not working in the relationship. Try not to take the rejection too personally. Remember that lots of great people have had failed relationships - the fact that the relationships failed says nothing about their value as a person. The fact that your relationship failed likewise says nothing about you as a person. 4. It is all right to cry, get mad and feel hurt when you are dumped. These are normal natural feelings. Just be sure that you let your feelings out in a safe place among friends or family. Do not make your ex the target of your feelings, even if they have done something to deserve your outrage. The sooner you let go of the other person, the sooner the healing can begin. 5. Breaking up is never easy. You will have good days and you will have bad days. Take it one day at a time and don't beat yourself up if you have an overly emotional day - you're only human after all. 6. Break ups are often followed by one of the parties starting a new relationship and when this happens it can bring up all sorts of old feelings. If you thought you were over someone who broke up with you and find yourself upset at the news that s/he has moved on, rest assured you are normal. Let yourself be upset, it is part of the healing process. 7. Acting out in anger is never good for anybody. After being broken up with don't spread mean or spiteful rumors. Don't betray former confidences by telling old secrets to others. If another person was involved in your break up resist the urge to slam them behind their back. Acting vicious only makes you look bad and any satisfaction you may feel will be short lived. In the end this sort of behaviour will only make you feel worse. 8. A big part of the pain of breaking up comes from a feeling of embarrassment. We often fear how the situation will look to outsiders. Refuse to be embarrassed, even if you did something outlandish to cause your break up. Letting go of the embarrassment will help you move on to the healing. 9. Nobody ever deserves to be hurt. Your ex does not deserve to be hurt because you are hurting. Your ex's new love interest (if one even exists) does not deserve to be hurt just because you feel jealous. You do not deserve to be hurt, even if you acted badly and caused the break up. Breaking up hurts, but it doesn't have to be made worse by holding a grudge or drowning yourself in a pool of if only's. Deal with the reality and let go of your anger, the pain will disappear more quickly if you do. 10. Things may seem bleak now but you never know what the future may hold for you and your ex. You may get back together someday. You may not. Either way it is better to let go of a faltering relationship while there is still some caring left between the two of you. If you play it out to the bitter end and leave your ex no choice but to hate you to get rid of you, you close the door to the future. Bowing out graciously leaves room for a future relationship with your ex, even if it is just as good friends. When we first start a new relationship we are so filled with happy euphoric feelings of love that it seems like things couldn't ever change, but more often than not they do. More often than not they end. It is a sad fact of dating that things don't always work out and when a relationship starts to turn it can be hard to accept. Is your relationship reaching it's expiry date? Is a break up in the near future? Should you get out before things get ugly or hang on and see if there is something left to save? Take our "Is it time to break up?" quiz to get a second opinion. Remember: If your relationship is emmotionally or physically abusive, or if it causes you to act in a self destructive manner you should get out regardless of how "in love" you feel. Relationships that hurt don't need to be saved. Q: When was the last time the two of you had a fight? Within the past 3 days. More than 3 days ago, less than 2 weeks ago. More than 2 weeks ago. Breaking up is rarely easy. You both had feelings for each other at one point, and maybe you still do. The key is to do it maturely, without deliberate pain, so that you can both move on with your lives and find someone better suited for you. A relationship really needs two fully committed people, so if one of you doesn't want to be in the relationship any more, it's best for BOTH of you to end it. That's the key message to get across. Don't get into lots of blame-finding. There is always fault on both sides in a relationship that fails. Make sure you sit down face to face somewhere quiet. Never break up over the phone or via email, that's completely unfair. A relationship is based on trust and dependability - don't prove you're unworthy of that in the final hour. Sit down and explain it's not going to work. If your partner has questions, answer them as fairly as you can, but without going into lots of back-stabbing. Breaking up isn't about finding fault. It's about you both being able to find "closure" to this relationship so you are able to then move on to a new one. It's really in both of your best interests to end this cleanly. If you don't, it will come back to haunt you in many ways. If you can both accept that this was simply not meant to be, and that somewhere out there a new person awaits which IS perfect for each of you, you might even be able to stay friends. Or if not, you can look back on your time together as an enjoyable experiment which just didn't work out the way you'd originally hoped. ok here man............................................... ........................ here's what one girl had to say... Breaking up with him without hurting him This afternoon i am going to break up with my boyfriend. We've only been going out for a month and a half but I just feel liek it's not working. We have been friends for ages and all that sort of went away from the moment he asked me out. When I tell him this I know i am going to feel guilty because i have a feeling he likes me quite a bit and that he isnt expecting it. I was thinking of waiting a little but then I realised that there was no point. If you really believe its nnot going well and its not going to improve then just get it over and done with. This afternoon im simply going to tell him the truth: face to face. As I see him every day at work I feel a text or note would just make it seriously awkward. Im going express that I just liked it best when we were friends which i know may sound so typical but in this case it really is the truth. I just hope that when it is done, he wont look at me like ive wounded him too badly. I hate causing pain, especially to people i do care for. If you are thinking of doing the same thing, try and imagine the scene. Don't reherse too much but I think it helps to imagine how he will react and ways you could make him feel better without sounding too smug or cliched (for example: you deserve some1 SO MUCH better). Good luck to anyone, rght now im quite nervous but I think I will feel a lot better when it is done. Hopefully tonight I can feel not only guilt but a lot of relief pass over me. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- thought maybe you could relate to this ya know... anyway hope it helps wun~

^^ hey wunthug do u have ani bout signs that its not workin out?and i think u shulde tell her tha truth and give her somethin to remember u by

i suggest you go here mayne...

http://www.relatebetter.com/questionnaire.htm


that might help :thumbup:

Damn son. I was just in this same situation about a year ago. I loved the chick to death but I just wanted to be on my own again. We had been together for about 2 years so I didn't know how the hell I was gonna say it.

Luckily, I had to go to college, and she started her new full-time job. So I just used that and we broke it off mutually.

Only advice I got for you, breaking up with someone you care about is NEVER gonna be easy. But look at it this way, would you rather be miserable everyday or happy doing the things YOU want to. You gotta do what you feel man. You only got one life to live and it's too short to be conforming it to other people.

Thanks yall, all of your support means a lot, and a special thanks to wunthug for going out of his way to find me a resource to consider, yall great

no problem mayne thats what im here for :D

SO I planned it to the best I could, I had her over tonight, she made me dinner , we ate, we talked, we laughed, we watched a movie, and I chickened out, see the problem is, I have never got along with a girl the way I get along with this one, shes smoking hot, im talking mariah careys twin sister (literally),,, so I know I dont want to break up because of looks, and It aint cause she's a bitch, cause she aint, and it aint differences, cause we get along like no other couple I know, Im starting to think it may be because of me being scared of commitment or something......


I tried to get in my dump a bitch mode see, I thought about when she pissed me off and all that noise, and I ignored her feelings for the moment and tried to tell her that I have something important to tell her, and befor I could even begin, I started diverting to talking about some equipment im buying and how I want to buy a new house,,,,, what the fuck?.... I still need help yall, im fuckin up and shit aint going according to plan, and befor yall try and tell me that I should go with the flow or listen to my heart, realize that aint what the fuck I want, remember I want out!!!! help.

-0nE-

Click Here


You might wanna read that man... That pony can u make u change the way u think and everything man... If shes smoking hot, you both get along great and she's never a bitch... I don't understand why you wouldn't want to commit... Maybe what Dr Collis says is true, in his theory meth users divide the world into two groups, those who help get the drug and those who don't... Maybe its true... But yeah why would you want to leave a girl like that? lol shit you wanna trade?

here ya go mayne...

Thanks mayne, your link for dontfeedmesh1t.meth.html dont work lol